Journey of Chaos: Wisdom

Every once in a while, I have a random moment of wisdom.

“Wisdom, you say?”

Wisdom.

I know, pretty crazy coming from me, right? (;

So about a week and a half ago, I was talking to a friend of mine, and she was struggling with confidence in herself in regards to an interview. After taking a moment to think about what she was saying, I knew that she already had everything she needed to succeed. Even better? She was more than prepared for the situation. All she needed was a boost of motivation as well as a dose of the truth to kickstart her self-esteem.

The sentence was twelve words long and relatively simple. Little did I know that those words would prove to be impactful or that it would be something I needed to hear as well.

“What good does it do to worry about something you don’t know?”

Now clearly, the wordage could be a bit smoother, and I’m sure there is a better way to lay that sentence out. Overall? The meaning was clear. Why worry about something that you don’t know? Such a simple statement, yet it is one of the first things overlooked.

But, why limit it there?

Let’s try:
– Why worry about something you can’t change?
– Why should I allow my flow/routine to be jostled by worry?
– Is worrying healthy for my environment, and even more – myself?
– What good will come out of worrying about something?

Going back to the beginning, let’s go through this – one at a time.

  • “What good does it do to worry about something you don’t know?”
    It’s pretty self-explanatory, yet I am guilty of forgetting the importance of its meaning as well. There is no good in worrying about something I don’t know about because it is unknown. If I worry about it, it gives the “unknown” object power. That’s not going to help me move forward. Instead, it will hinder me and my productivity.
  • “Why worry about something you can’t change?”
    Clearly, there is a lot in this world that I can’t change. Worry will not improve it. The only thing it will change is the level of stress inside of me, and then I think that I’m helpless. This is not the case. I am not useless. I have the power to change things with action.
  • “Why should I allow my flow/routine to be jostled by worry?”
    Well, when I put it like that… I’m not 100% sure why I should allow worry to turn my life upside down. Do I let it anyway? Of course! I’m human. But I’m able to take that control back and “take action” as mentioned above.
  • “Is worrying healthy for my environment, and even more – myself?”
    I’m going to answer this with a No. It is not healthy for me to worry as worrying causes stress. Stress has been proven to be very unhealthy for the body in a variety of different ways. As for my environment, if I’m stressed out, then my environment is hectic. So no… Worrying is not healthy at all for me.
  • And last, but certainly not least… “What good will come out of worrying about something?”
    I honestly don’t know… (;

Does it change the situation? Probably not. Yet all too often, I find myself in a state of worry or panic. What does that get me? A swift kick in the booty and an extra pile of stress. Yay me… (;

Back to my point –
My friend was patient with me as I explained to her that she was terrific already and that the people she would meet – they were lucky to have her. We talked for quite a while, and I showed her the different ways that she was prepared.

“That’s all fine and great, Shay, but how did that situation end?”

Such a great question, I’m glad you asked. My friend aced the next day’s interview and did correctly as I initially had suspected. She had an enjoyable experience and feels confident moving forward.

“What you’re saying directly applies to me. I am right there with you. So… Now what?”

Now, we embrace ourselves and realize that we are already powerful with what we have to offer. Each of us has such great potential. We each have a unique set of tools and talents that we can provide benefits in a variety of situations.

Myself included…

So why do we sell ourselves short?

Because we allow worry to overwhelm us. Take it a step further, and you’ll find that concern stems from fear. [Take a look at my fear post, if you haven’t already.]

In my life, I allow others [and more importantly, myself] to overwhelm me when it comes to many different areas of my life. For the sake of transparency, let’s take a look, shall we?

My greatest Question: Am I a good writer? Do I have what it takes?

Answer: Absolutely! My writing is unique to my set of talents and tools. My perspective is different than others which means that my words are worth it and my stories are valuable. As for what it takes, of course, I have what it takes. I am determined and motivated, energetic and passionate. If it were left at that, these four reasons are more than enough to show that I have what it takes. I’m dedicated to something I love, and for my own well-being, I need to remember that.

Question: Am I pretty enough? What do others think of me?

Answer: I am beautiful the way I am. It doesn’t matter what others think of me. Everyone has opinions, but only I determine what is essential as far as that goes. I need to ask myself what I think beauty is and then hold myself to those standards and those alone. No one else should hold that control, power or worry over me. We’re all significant, but that doesn’t give us the right to purposely harm another individual based on our biased opinions.

Question: Will I succeed in life? Will I accomplish my goals and ‘make my dreams come true?’

Answer: I already have started the process. Even in small ways, I’m succeeding in life. I’ve already overcome a lot of fear and began to accomplish the multitude of goals that I set for myself. As for my dreams, they regularly change, but as long as I continue to pursue them with passion and fervor, that’s more than enough in my book. When it’s time to “make them come true,” I’ll have the power and ability to do so. I don’t need other people to tell me about my success. I’m already there. (;

As always, there is a multitude of questions that I could list. But I’m sure you get the idea.*

So, my dear readers,
Take a moment to really think about your life and most importantly, yourself. Where are you allowing the worry, stress, and fear power to overwhelm your life and take control? Where can you gain that control back? How can you remove those worries/stress? How do you already move away from fear? Share your experiences in the comment section.

In the meantime, here is my suggestion. I promise I’ll keep it simple.
Take those words and apply them to your own life. You are valuable. You are wanted. You are good enough. You already have what you need to succeed and move forward.

Believe in you.
You’ve got this, and I have faith that you’re capable. (:

Until next time,
Shay <3

*{Writing this -publicly- makes it easier to believe, and gives me a personal record to look back on, reminding me that yes, I am good enough.} (;

Journey of Chaos: Fear

I’ve hesitated to post this particular subject because fear is a scary thing. I’m talking about those thoughts deep down in the crevices of your brain that you know will come back to haunt you. For me, that’s like giving in to weakness,  if you will.

“What,” you might ask, “Do you fear, Shay?”

I fear a lot. To be human, in my opinion, we should have a healthy fear of things. {Emphasis on -healthy.-}

I fear the future me. Did I succeed in life, or was my life full of failure? Am I happy? Did I write a book? Am I alone?

Whatever the case, I fear that I won’t be successful. Whether it’s writing (and finishing) a novel, meeting new people or accomplishing something that changes lives, I fear that I will never amount to anything let alone have something to show for my hard work. There are so many standards and procedures that you should follow the path of success. I know that I strive toward each of those things and work my hardest to achieve the best that I could possibly have. But what if it’s not enough?

I’ve been told that it only matters what I think and that I should gauge my life on how I think it should be lived.

If I were to live by that standard alone, I’ve already failed. I am unsuccessful and that, my dear readers, scares me.

My reason for being unsuccessful? It’s simple. I have not completed a novel. I’m not even close to finishing. I haven’t put myself in a situation to meet a new person in a long time, and I don’t believe that I’ve done anything to change anyone’s life. By my own standards, I have failed. My fear has become real at this point, and I have achieved it with little effort. So in this case, where do I go from here?

Sure, I could try to change it. I know that the things I want and desire are possible. But sometimes, the fear of failure holds me back. Such a vicious cycle.

Then there’s the fear of success itself. As weird as it sounds, I fear genuinely succeeding. What happens if I do write that novel and it gets published? When I meet new people, then what? What if I do touch lives? My mind considers the previously listed items as plausible events, but then the question rises to the occasion. If I succeed in the small victories that I want to accomplish, what comes next? Not to mention, once you do manage success, the standards have been set. I’ll be required to submit similar or better-valued items the next time. So of course, we’re left with nothing more than”What’s next.” I still have no answer for this.

That probably sounds stupid, because, in reality, I’m sure it is. I shouldn’t be afraid to succeed, yet once more, my sanity should be questioned because I, after all, fear success. How fun, right?

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I fear my depression. I fear the possibility of being consumed by its claws. I fear my incompetence. I fear my thoughts and feelings, emotions and mind. I scare myself because I am capable of a multitude of things. I fear the things that I have accomplished and done as well as what I may achieve moving forward.

I fear unhappiness. The thought of living life with little to no happiness frightens me. How can a person live if she is unhappy? I’m not always miserable, but there are moments where it’s overbearing. What if there is no light at the end of the tunnel?

I fear the loss of my senses. Have you ever had your ears cut off on you? Where they randomly put you in a bubble and everything is unclear? What if I lost the ability to enjoy the artistic songs that I hold so dear. Music is vital to me and my sanity. It helps lift me up and have a better day. There are times where I fear that I will lose this happiness and it scares me beyond words. I fear the loss of my sight. I’m scared that one day, I won’t be able to enjoy the gorgeous scenery around me, read a book or watch another movie.

“Do you have a health condition,” you ask. No. I don’t, and I definitely do not plan on obtaining one. But that nasty “What if” game really plays tricks on me. I enjoy my senses. If I lost them, I feel like I would miss a part of myself.

I fear judgment, of any kind. I may not be perfect, but having someone evaluate my flaws scares me. I fear that I will fail to meet someone’s expectations – like, maybe I’m not that great.

I fear things because they are unknown. If I know what’s going to happen, I know how to prepare for them. If I don’t, it’s like walking into a deep, dark cave with nothing but a dollar store glow stick. Not a very comforting thought. But I’m not alone. What are your fears? What stops you from success? What is your opinion on the matter?

When it comes down to it, the terror is all in my head. Why do I fear these things? Because I’ve convinced myself that there is something to lose. Whether that’s the case or not, will I rise to the challenge and overcome my fear? I’ve already told myself a story that I can’t. But is there a way that I can? Am I able to overcome fear?

I think in posting this here, for all to read, I’ve already conquered one. I like to think that’s a step in the right direction.

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